Expectations

We take feeling good for granted and we should be grateful. Three weeks ago today I felt well. Nothing hurt, I awoke feeling rested and energetic. I often say a quick prayer of gratitude for that and expect to accomplish a lot through the day. That evening after my fall, I didn’t feel so well. No headache was a blessing, but the knot on my head was tender to touch and some tightness in my neck was uncomfortable. Specifics were hard to come by, but I just didn’t feel well. Four days later I did a colonoscopy prep and procedure. That was another assault. In spite of these assaults, I expected myself to be able to follow my normal daily routine.

Yesterday, I developed flashes in the eye on the side of my head injury. Careful exam showed no retinal detachment but did require dilation of my pupils which made me useless for hours. I gave myself permission to take a nap and did make it to choir practice last night. I always feel better after singing and did last night, but this morning that sense of being unwell returned.

I am learning that sometimes we need to back off of our expectations for ourselves. Even if serious harm is avoided with injuries, they are still injuries and we should not try to go on as if they never happened. I’ve decided as long as my face is black and blue, I am going to cut myself some slack and maybe let someone else cut the grass.

 

 

 

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